An Open Letter to Christian Authors, Bloggers, Podcasters, Influencers, and Leaders
Dear Christian Authors, Bloggers, Podcasters, Influencers, and Leaders,
 
I am writing this as a plea, and I hope and pray that you will hear the cry of my heart.
 

I come to you on behalf of countless women who are suffering from destructive marriages. 
 
Abuse comes in many forms and is not just defined by broken bones and bruises. 
 
The Duluth Power and Control Wheel is one resource that reveals other forms of abuse.
 
Sarah McDugal created a chart with the 13 systems of abuse patterns. 
 
The patterns/systems of abuse include child, cultural, emotional, financial, intellectual, pets and property, psychological, sexual, social, spiritual, verbal and a core mindset of power abuse and entitlement. 
 
My first plea is that you become familiar with the patterns and systems of abuse.
 
You may
 read more here or listen here. 
 
Reportedly, one in three women have experienced physical and/or sexual abuse. 
 
This number does not account for unreported cases.
 
This number does not account for other forms of abuse.
 
Based upon my personal experience and the hundreds of women that I encounter daily, my gut tells me that 50-75% of women within faith communities are experiencing multiple forms of abuse on a regular basis.
 

These women read your books, blogs, and social media posts. 
 
These women listen to your podcasts and sermons. 
 
These women have endured years, even decades, of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing abuse. 


Some are aware that they are being abused, and many are not yet aware. 
 
We can no longer say, “But my message was directed at healthy couples.” 
 
Many marriages are not healthy.
 
Most women who are seeking out help are not in healthy marriages and the messages they hear cause more harm. 


When you speak on these topics and do not include a warning about abuse, these women feel blamed, shamed and responsible for the abuse they are enduring. 
 
My second plea is to add a heartfelt, informed disclaimer each time you address relationships, marriage, sex, and divorce. 
 
Please include information about consent, safety, equality, and mutuality. 
 
Please educate yourselves and others about the patterns and systems of abuse and direct your readers and listeners to resources that will help them to be safe and well.
 
Please refer abuse victims to trauma-informed and abuse-informed therapists, domestic violence shelters and law enforcement agencies. 
 
Abuse within faith communities is epidemic. 
 
This is not a new problem, but there is a tidal wave of survivors who are stepping out and speaking up.
 
As one story is shared, it gives others courage to come forward.
 
For generations, abuse has been covered up within homes, churches, and institutions. 
 
The tide has turned, and survivors and advocates are saying “Enough is enough.”
 
Will you join me and other survivors, helpers, advocates, counselors, authors, and leaders who are taking a stand against this evil?
 
We are unlearning and relearning, every single day.
 
We are realizing that many things we have believed, spoken and written have brought more harm to those who were seeking healing. 
 
We invite you to join us as we seek ways to help and heal the masses who are showing up at our doorsteps, our computer screens and in our coaching sessions. 
 
We now know better, so we must do better. 
 

Ladies, join us at Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse.
 
The
 Held & Healed Podcast is a resource filled with resources and I have interviewed some powerful men and women who love God and love others and are speaking out on behalf of survivors.
 
Survivors, authors, bloggers, podcasters, influencers, leaders, counselors, coaches, advocates, and helpers, join us at the 
Safer Spaces Summit.
 
We will share statistics, survivor stories and solutions for addressing abuse within faith communities. 
 
This summit is a great place to begin learning and we will direct you to even more healing resources during each session. 
 
Thank you for your time and consideration, I invite the opportunity to learn and grow with you.
 
Sincerely, 
 
A Survivor and Advocate 
 

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