I wasted so many years of my life waiting for a man/woman, denomination, or institution to give me value or worth.
I remember feeling on the outside, looking in at the ones who appeared to be put together, educated, stable and (fill in the blank) enough.
I even said to one leader, “I could be a really good friend/support if you would let me in.”
Over a decade ago, I approached one pastor’s wife to ask how her father was recovering from surgery.
I was told she was not allowed to share personal things with me, she was only allowed to “process up.”
Process up?
What the actual heck is “up” in God’s kingdom?
In His kingdom, there is only ONE who sits on the throne.
Only ONE who is ABOVE.
In God’s kingdom, there is JESUS...then, there are the rest of us.
Period.
I’ve been told I was too young, then too old, too emotional, too broken, too...
I would pray for people on Sunday mornings and then be told that I was out of line.
People needed to come to the alter, we were not supposed to move to them.
I would feel led to do something tangible to bless someone, bring it to leadership to get “permission” (unspoken rules said I needed that), and be told that I could not/should not do the thing I felt led to do.
A month later, the same leader was commissioning someone else to do that very thing.
I felt worthless and did not think I would EVER measure up.
Fast forward to last week.
I was driving down the road, praying aloud, as tears of JOY streamed down my face.
“Thank You, Father, for always being there. Thank You for covering me, protecting me, and shielding me. Thank You for anointing me to be Your hands, Your feet, Your heart to a world in need. Your permission is all I ever needed. Your anointing is all I ever needed. Your approval is all I ever needed. Forgive me for waiting for someone else to send me out, You are all I need.”
Dear friend, if you are waiting for a man/woman, church, denomination, institution or organization to commission you be His hands, feet and heart to a world in need...STOP!
Don’t wait another day!
Do the thing He’s placed in your heart to do TODAY!
Your gifts and passions are needed in the world TODAY!
Show up!
Love big!
Let His love and light FLOW THROUGH YOU!
