Dear Friend, I'm So Sorry the Nightmares are Back
Dear Friend, I’m so sorry the nightmares are back. 

You called me to unload and my heart is breaking for you. 

You found out that your ex is helping to lead worship at yet another church, one of the largest ones in your community.  

He never stopped leading worship, during all the years he was lying to you, cheating on you, abusing you and neglecting you.  

The church turned a blind eye to adultery, addiction and abuse then. 

It continues to do so now. 

In your dream, you met yet another one of his mistresses.  

She sat on the front row in church while he stood on the platform. 

When you confronted her, she simply made a joke.  

When you confronted him, he ignored you and walked away. 

When you confronted your own family members who still coddled him, they stared at you blankly. 

In your dream, you were walking toward the pastor to warn him. 

But you woke up.  

Just like the nightmares you’ve had where you are falling, falling, falling and you wake up just before you hit the ground and die. 

You don’t know how the dream ends, but I can predict it. 

You walk up to the pastor, you tell him that your ex isn’t a godly man and he should not hold a position of leadership in any church.  

You tell him about serial adultery, sex addiction, and abuse of every kind.  

The pastor also stares at you blankly.  

So, you walk away. 

My friend, you cannot convince anyone of anything. 

They see what they want to see, a man who is charming and witty and can make their worship team sound a little bit better.  

You will be deemed the bitter ex-wife.  

I encourage you to stop trying to get them to see truth they don’t want to see. 

Instead, pour that energy and focus into speaking truth over yourself.  

“I am worthy of love, honor and respect.” 

“It is not my fault that he lied, cheated and abused me." 

“His actions are reflections of his character, not mine.” 

“My God sees all, hears all, knows all. What He knows about me matters more than what others think of me.” 

“I do not need a church’s validation to be whole.” 

Hold your head high and dig deep into your healing.  

The One who sees all, hears all and knows all has got your back and He is moving mountains on your behalf.  

He is raising up an army of survivors who have fought similar battles. 

You are not alone.  

Tell the nightmares, the flashbacks, and the triggers to go back to hell where they came from.  

Book a session with a therapist who understands domestic violence and trauma.  

You are victorious.  

And, join us at Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse

We are learning, growing and healing together. 

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My Story

 
Held & Healed.

I have always had a sense of Jesus' presence in my life and have felt held by Him.

Healed is what I will be when I meet Him face to face. 

The here and the now is the "&," as I am learning, healing, and growing every day.

I am a survivor of abuse of every kind, in childhood and adulthood.

In 2015, I was stricken with a mysterious and terrifying virus that "woke up" many other viruses in my body.

Since that time, I have been fiercely fighting for my healing and the healing of others.

I was also diagnosed with c-PTSD, as a result of lifelong trauma and abuse.

As I began to search for healing resources for myself, I knew that this journey wasn't just about me.

I created a group, Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, which has grown to almost 4,000 members.

I launched the Held & Healed podcast which is a resource of resources. 

If you are a Christian woman who is rebuilding your life after abuse, I invite you to join me on this healing journey. 

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